By Hillary Monahan
Sometimes people say something smells like shit and what they really mean is "it's musty" or "there's a mildewy funk here". When I say Mary Carlson's basement smelled like shit, I mean it. She had about six of those small yappy dogs, Shit Zoos or whatever, and apparently no one had bothered to teach 'em that you're supposed to drop your bricks outside in the grass. There were about eight zillion tiny brown landmines I had to work around to get to her electrical wiring, and I wondered how in the hell she could live like that. It was disgusting.